DV Killings in Monroe County

According to Macon.com:

Alayna Pruitt, 43, and her mother, Sherry Price (age unknown), were found dead in their home on Debra Drive off Ga. 74, according to a release from the sheriff’s office. Pruitt’s husband, Ronald Pruitt, also was found with a gunshot wound and was taken to The Medical Center of Central Georgia where he was listed in critical condition Saturday. The hospital and Monroe County Sheriff’s Office could not provide an update on his condition Sunday.

WMAZ Channel 13 reports that Monroe County's coroner believes the deaths to be domestic violence homicides.

Update: The suspected killer in the case, Ronald Pruitt, has died, making this a double-murder, suicide. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Pruitt and Price families.

Halle Berry Talks About Childhood Domestic Violence

A few weeks ago, Halle Berry opened up to CNN regarding what it was like to grow up with a father who was abusive to her mother.

"I think I've spent my adult life dealing with the sense of low self-esteem that sort of implanted in me. Somehow I felt not worthy," she told CNN. "Before I'm 'Halle Berry,' I'm little Halle....a little girl growing in this environment that damaged me...I've spent my adult life trying to really heal from that."

Visit the CNN website to watch the video in full.

DV 101: Domestic Violence and Mental Health

What we know, from working with women experiencing domestic violence for 25 years, is that women experiencing domestic violence are vulnerable to mental health problems because of the abusive environment in which they live. They may also be vulnerable to self-medication through alcohol or drugs as they attempt to escape the pain of what they have experienced or are experiencing.

We also know that women with existing mental illness, as well as women with any physical or mental disability, are at a higher risk for victimization.

Most importantly, we understand that the majority of women who experience intimate partner violence do not have a diagnosable mental condition. Therefore, an assumption that victims of domestic violence require our diagnosis, psychoanalysis, therapy, or“treatment” is inaccurate at best. It is not the victim of domestic violence who has made a choice to use controlling and abusive behaviors, and it is not the victim of domestic violence who has committed a crime. Therefore, the victim is not the person who needs treatment. For most women, they simply need the abuse to stop.

As for the abuser, some people with mental health problems are violent, but most people who use violence to control their partners do not have a mental illness. In fact, many who use violence against their intimate partners are at times charming, and caring people. Most men who use violence against their women partners believe, on some level, that it is their right and even their responsibility to control their partner and their children. Our society often reinforces this thinking. "Treatment" for these batterers includes helping them change the thinking that they are entitled to use violent and abusive tactics and instead helping them see that their partners deserve their respect.

DV 101 - Common Abusive Behaviors

The following list, which outlines many common behaviors that abusers use to establish and maintain control in an intimate relationship, is certainly not exhaustive. Batterers are often creative, and they constantly think of new ways to dominate their partners. For that reason, abusive behaviors can encompass any behavior that a person uses to control their partner, especially those that make the victim fearful. The following, however, are some of the most common:

Physical Force – An abusive person may misuse physical power to restrain, injure, and terrify their partner. This results in the establishment of fear and control in the relationship.

Jealousy – At times people confuse or equate feelings of jealousy with feelings of love. An abusive person may frequently and suspiciously ask questions about their partner’s conversations, whereabouts, activities, and experiences. A person who is behaving abusively may become verbally and/or physically aggressive and accusatory when, for any reason, they are not the focus of their partner’s attention.

Manipulation – A person who is behaving abusively will attempt to justify their abusive behavior by relating it to their “concern” or “love” for their partner. They may also attempt to exploit their partner’s feelings of love and compassion.

Lying – Abusive people often lie to themselves and others. They put a “spin” on events in their lives in order to avoid responsibility for the violence that they perpetrate. Lying about affairs and finances are common occurrences.

Unrealistic Expectations – A person behaving abusively may expect their partner to meet all of their needs, to take care of everything for them emotionally and/or domestically.

Isolation – Abusers, once they have established power in the relationship, may isolate their partner by making it difficult or impossible for her to be with family and friends. She/he may block his partner’s access to the vehicle, work opportunities, telephone and Internet services, and any or all connections to the world outside of the relationship.

Blames Others for Problems, Emotions, and Abusive Behavior – A perpetrator of intimate partner violence will often blame others (usually partners and other family members) for their abusive behavior and negative emotions. However, it is their choice to use those behaviors or act on those emotions.

Use of Children – An abusive person may use the children to control their spouse. Children are at times asked to monitor the behavior of one parent and report on that behavior to the other. Or, abusive parents may threaten to or actually harm the children in order to harm the other parent.

Cruelty to Animals – Abusive behavior may include injury to the family pets.

Sexual Abuse – This includes carrying out any sexual interaction that is unwanted by the person with whom you are being sexual. Manipulative and coercive behaviors that are intended to gain compliance are also forms of sexual abuse.

Verbal Abuse – A person using verbal violence may degrade his/her partner; call her/him names, and say cruel and hurtful things. The long-term negative consequences of this victimization can be as devastating as those that occur among victims of physical and sexual abuse.

Duel Personality – “Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde” – A person behaving abusively may shift quickly between moods. The victim may feel like she has to “walk on eggshells” not knowing what to expect.

Threatens to Harm – Abusers may tell their partners and/or children how they will hurt/punish them if they do not obey.

Breaking or Striking Objects – Abusive behavior may include breaking household items, punching holes in walls, or kicking doors to scare the victim.

Financial Abuse – A person behaving abusively may take complete control of the household money, including controlling all spending and not allowing the other partner to work. The abuser may take out or cancel accounts in the partner's name or sabotage the partner at work, causing her to lose her job. Threats to withhold money for necessities, such as food, are also used to control the family.

Minimizing or Denying Violence – Perpetrators of domestic violence often say things like, “It’s not that bad,” “I didn’t do anything,” and “You’re just overreacting.” Over time, this kind of “crazy making” behavior can cause a victim of abuse to question him/herself and the reality and seriousness of the nightmare that they are experiencing.

If you recognize any of these behaviors occuring in your relationship, please reach out for help by calling 1-800-799-SAFE.

Welcome to a New Year

Welcome to a new year. As we have done in the past, we'd like to take the next week or two to recap some Domestic Violence 101 for our newer readers. You might like to start with one of our classic DV 101 posts:

Staying and Leaving

Effects of Domestic Violence on Children

or, try searching our blog for posts labeled "DV 101".