Possible Murder-Suicide in Columbus

Columbus, GA Police are investigating what they suspect to be a DV murder-suicide from Saturday night.

Ruby Grant, 21, and Freddie Dewayne Grant, 27, were found fatally shot about 7 p.m. inside their home at Huckleberry Hill Apartments, 4570 St. Marys Road. According to a police report, officers visited the complex to conduct “a welfare check” of the couple. One neighbor said officers were also looking for a little girl who had been spotted outside the apartments.

When police stepped inside the couple’s apartment, they found the bodies, authorities said.

“When they got there is when they found the victim,” Sgt. Matt Blackstock said. “When they investigated, they found the other victim.”

Reports indicate Freddie Grant shot his wife in the head in their bedroom around 6:45 p.m. He then shot himself in the head in the same room. There is no suicide note.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Grant family.

Today is International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women

We are so pleased that the Obama Administration has made violence against women a priority, both domestically through the efforts of Vice President Joe Biden and abroad through the leadership of Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Click here to read Secretary Clinton's remarks on International Day for the Elimination of Violence against Women.

What's The Difference Between Anger and Abuse?

We face this question a lot in anti-domestic violence work. People like to write off batterers' behavior, even homicides, as explosive anger that should be treated by anger management classes, rather than as systematic, planned behavior that focuses on control. The Marriage Counseling Blog has a pretty good breakdown on the difference between anger and the behaviors typically associated with domestic abuse.

Anger is a natural and normal feeling. However, the behaviors people exhibit when they feel angry may or may not be acceptable. Abuse should not be tolerated.

The underlying reasons for angry behaviors and abusive behaviors are different. When people are angry they may lash out or say things they don’t mean out of difficulty being rational while feeling so upset. Angry feelings can cause people to do or say some things they might not normally do and say. This, however, shouldn’t be used as an excuse.

Abusive behaviors tend to be a lot more purposeful. Abusive behaviors are meant to control the other person. Various strategies ranging from intimidation and guilt may be used as manipulation tactics.

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When behaviors become abusive, the person doesn’t take responsibility for the behaviors. They may deny that the abuse occurred or minimize the seriousness of it. They may also blame the other person.

In contrast, people who exhibit angry behaviors can take responsibility for their role. They can admit to crossing the line if they became angry and yelled or behaved inappropriately. They also work on making changes so that it won’t happen again.

The final statement is possibly the most important. Those who use violence against their partners are much less likely to take responsibility for their actions than those who simply have difficulty controlling their anger. Thus, traditional anger management classes, and even many batterers intervention programs based on an anger management model, don't work for perpetrators of family violence because they don't feel that they have any changes to make. We need to acknowledge domestic violence for what it is - a series of behaviors that are tactics one partner uses to control the other - before we can begin effectively helping batterers to change.

Possible Dating Violence Homicide in Clayton County

The AJC reports that a 19-year-old Clayton County man was arrested in the death of a 15-year-old girl. Police identified Marshae Hickman as a suspect from information in the victim's diary, which could imply that the two were involved in a relationship.

Marshae Hickman, 19, was already in jail after a burglary arrest last month when Clayton police charged him with murder and concealing a body in the death of Candice Parchment.

According to a police arrest warrant affidavit, Hickman confessed to choking Candice to death.

Candice disappeared on the night of April 28, 2010. Her body was found seven months later hidden beneath a discarded mattress behind an apartment complex off Old Dixie Highway in Forest Park.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Parchment family.

Alleged Murder -Suicide in Marietta

A Marietta couple was found dead yesterday in what police suspect was a murder-suicide.

That ongoing dispute ended when Mr. Wilbur Carl South, 28, shot his girlfriend, Ms. Maryellen Cano, 32, and then himself in their home on Springdale Drive, Marietta police spokesman Officer David Baldwin said.

But police said Thursday they weren’t sure when the couple died.

Officers found their bodies after Ms. Cano’s father reported her missing about 6 p.m. at the police department, Officer Baldwin said.

He told police he hadn’t heard from her in two days.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Cano family.