Bad Advice

When it comes to domestic violence, most of us don't know the signs, yet we love to blame women for not noticing them and not getting out of the relationship fast enough. Case in point, a man writes to Cary Tennis, an advice columnist, and his letter is peppered with red flags. On Feministe, where we first saw this advice, Jill breaks them down:

I mean, we have some Classic Signs of A Controlling Man here.

1. Isolates her from her friends and family.


2. Criticizes her.


3. THREATENS SUICIDE when she tries to leave him.


4. Lies, or at least can’t keep his story straight, when he’s appealing for sympathy (see “we ended up having a screaming incident in front of our apartment” followed up with “I never threatened her or even raised my voice”).

The advice columnist, who by the way is paid to be an expert on relationships, has this to say:

It’s sad. I wish you two could patch it up.

This is the advice women are given. We are told to compromise so we won't end up alone, and then people are surprised when the violence escalates and we don't realize something is wrong until we are in too deep. To this advice columnist, the victim is the villain.

How hard would it be to tell women not to compromise, but only to commit to other people who treat them as equals and with respect? How hard would it have been for this advice columnist to tell this perfect stranger that his behavior is alarming and that his girlfriend is right to stay away? Domestic violence will not end if we tell women to put up with it and it certainly won't end until we are able to point out to men when their behavior is controlling or threatening. We need to stop ignoring the warning signs and start treating domestic and dating violence for what it is: a problem that needs to be addressed and can't be explained away.

Possible Dating Violence Homicide in Clayton County

The AJC reports that a 19-year-old Clayton County man was arrested in the death of a 15-year-old girl. Police identified Marshae Hickman as a suspect from information in the victim's diary, which could imply that the two were involved in a relationship.

Marshae Hickman, 19, was already in jail after a burglary arrest last month when Clayton police charged him with murder and concealing a body in the death of Candice Parchment.

According to a police arrest warrant affidavit, Hickman confessed to choking Candice to death.

Candice disappeared on the night of April 28, 2010. Her body was found seven months later hidden beneath a discarded mattress behind an apartment complex off Old Dixie Highway in Forest Park.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Parchment family.

Share Your Ideas with Vice President Biden

The White House, under the leadership of Vice President Biden, who has been a long-time ally to those of us working to end violence against women, has launched a new website called 1 is 2 many. '1 is 2 many' wants to engage a younger generation in creating innovative solutions to address dating violence and sexual assault in schools and on college campuses around the country.

The campaign also includes 'Apps Against Abuse' – a nationwide competition to develop an innovative software application that provides young adults with tools to help prevent sexual assault and dating violence. Since many incidents of dating violence and sexual assault occur when the offender, often an acquaintance, has targeted and isolated a young woman in vulnerable circumstances, the application the White House has envisioned will offer individuals a way to connect with trusted friends in real-time to prevent abuse from occurring.

This is your chance to be part of a solution. Talk about violence against women, tweet about it (#1is2many), and see what you can come up with. What we know if that violence against women won't stop end until all men choose to stop using violence. In a world full of prevention messages targeted toward women (always watch your drink, don't walk home alone at night, be careful what you wear), how can we target men? How can we make violence less cool and less socially acceptable? How do we teach respect to a new generation?

We can't wait to hear your thoughts.

2010 Georgia Fatality Review

The Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence and Georgia Commission on Family Violence just released the 2010 Georgia Domestic Violence Fatality Review.

The goal of the Fatality Review Project is to reduce domestic violence-related fatalities using information learned about past fatalities. The annual reports, though diverse in design, contain researched findings regarding carefully selected fatalities that meet review criteria. Whether you are a front line responder, part of the justice system, advocate or family or friend of someone impacted by domestic violence, the reports seek to provide information that might be used to prevent a domestic violence homicide.

In its 7th year, there are a few major gaps identified by the Project:

• Georgia’s DV victim services programs turned away 2,6362 victims (including children) who requested shelter in 2010, because of a lack of accommodations.


• Only 19% of victims in fatalities reviewed since 2004 were connected with DV emergency shelter programs.


• Law enforcement bears much of the burden of intervention in DV cases, yet their incident-based response is sometimes a poor fit for the pattern-based abuse that defines much DV. An estimated 55% to 85% of 911 calls relayed to Georgia law enforcement are DV related.3 In 2009, domestic incidents accounted for 24% of the 49 firearm-related line-of-duty deaths for U.S. officers. Still, specialized training in DV is a rarity in many jurisdictions in Georgia. Escalated hazards plus the lack of specialized training and support compromise first responders’ capacity to make victim safety a first priority.


• Calling law enforcement may result in criminal charges, lost family income, escalated violence, and possibly no relief of the victim’s suffering.


• While prosecutors understandably prefer clear-cut cases in which the survivor definitively leaves the relationship and agrees to testify fully against the abuser, many DV cases are intrinsically legally problematic. Some DV victims’ sense of self may be damaged from years of abuse, their self-efficacy compromised, their internal and external resources and support networks exhausted, their loyalties confused, and they may not want their relationship to end. Other victims may not be confused at all: they may have come to a clear-eyed and entirely rational understanding that their abuser will kill them if they take steps to leave, separate, or testify against him. Indeed, our research has shown consistently that women in Georgia are most likely to be killed when taking steps to separate from their abusive partner. Survivors in these circumstances may frustrate the system by appearing confused, belligerent, cowed, or uncooperative with prosecutors and others genuinely concerned with protecting victims. Our legal response best serves a certain, resourceful, and ideal victim, anxious to terminate her relationship with the abuser. This sort of victim rarely exists.


• Most DV victims work outside of the home, and a considerable amount of DV occurs in and around the workplace, but few employers have DV policies, are trained to spot signs and symptoms, or can safely refer victims to help.


• Teens receive little if any information on safe dating or DV resources at school; even if they are alert to DV or stalking, they cannot apply for protective orders without assistance from an adult.

We encourage you to view the entire document. There are specific sections focusing on teen dating violence and faith community responses to family violence, and there are even tip sheets in the back that you can use or tear out and pass along.

What We're Willing to Overlook

John Rosemond is a parenting advice columnist for the Columbia Tribune. A few weeks ago, he responded to a mother concerned that her daughter's boyfriend constantly puts her down. His advice was so off the mark that even one of his colleagues at the Tribune called him out.

For those of you who missed the column, (and don't want to follow the link), the basic story is that the mother of a 19-year-old girl wrote in asking for advice regarding her daughter's boyfriend, who although devoid of icky habits like smoking and partying, never misses the chance to put her down, dismiss her accomplishments or mock her. Dr. Rosemond's suggestion to the mother was to overlook this one "annoying habit" and do everything she can to keep him around. After all, he states, " The likelihood of her finding another boy her age who has a coherent plan for the future ... is slim."

So in a nutshell, parents, let's not worry about how our children's boyfriends or girlfriends TREAT them, as long as they don't smoke, plan on getting a job and haven't ever been in prison. Is this for real? Is he actually excusing this young man for being a jerk because he aspires to be something other than a Wilco groupie? I think America's young people might want to set the bar a tad higher.

The disturbing part of this whole thing is that Rosemond is supposed to be an informed professional. He's a psychologist as well as a father himself and has been writing books, giving lectures and fielding inquiries for many years. Yet, he failed to take this opportunity to help this mother and this girl (as well as his readers) to realize this is a case of emotional abuse.

Just because a teen isn't experiencing or using physical violence, that doesn't mean their relationship isn't a problem. Put-downs and other tactics that one person in a relationship uses to hurt the other are also abusive. Most often, emotionally abusive tactics are used to make the victim feel bad about herself, convincing her that no one else will want her. Once the abuser feels certain that she won't leave him, physical abuse often follows. Even if there is never physical abuse, emotional abuse should be taken seriously, because everyone deserves to feel valued and respected in a relationship. If you fear that your teen is experiencing or perpetrating emotional abuse, don't overlook it. It can be stopped and our kids deserve better.

Possible Teen Dating Violence Murder

We're a little late on this one, but the Augusta Chronicle has reported what may be another teen dating violence murder, this one involving two 14-year-olds.

[Lacy Aaron] Schmidt initially told police that he found Alana [Callahan]'s body while chasing away an intruder. He later confessed to shooting her but said it was an accident.

The Harlem Middle School eighth-grader was shot from behind as she sat at a computer in the dining room, according to police. She was dragged outside, across the backyard and into the woods.

Authorities said Alana was shot with the same type of 9 mm semiautomatic pistol owned by her father.

That gun was missing after the shooting. Deputies found it beneath a sink at Schmidt's home, a prosecutor said.

Betty Jo Calahan, Alana's mother, has said that Schmidt and her daughter were friends and that he often visited her.

"He went over there every night, just about, and ate supper," said Schmidt's sister and guardian, Dianna Chitty, as she pleaded with the judge to grant bond.

We will keep you posted as the story develops. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Callahan family.

15-year-old Shoots, Kills Girlfriend

The AJC reports that a 15-year-old Clayton County boy confessed to shooting and killing his 16-year-old girlfriend.

Police received a chilling phone call late Monday afternoon from a 15-year-old boy telling them his friend had been shot.

Officers arrived at the scene to find a 16-year-old girl with a fatal gunshot wound to the chest, Clayton police spokeswoman Tina Daniel said. The shooting occurred in a wooded area behind a home in the 4100 block of Dunn Road in Ellenwood.

"There was some sort of argument that ensued and he ended up shooting the 16-year-old," Daniel said. The two high school students apparently were dating.

The 15-year-old confessed to the shooting, Daniel said, and helped lead police to the firearm, which he had dropped in a nearby creek. It was recovered by the Clayton police dive team late Tuesday morning.

The shooter has not been charged but remains in police custody, Daniel said. Because of the nature of the crime, he could be charged as an adult.

A 21-year-old man is also charged with providing the gun to the shooter. This killing comes during Teen Dating Violence Awareness Month.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the victim's family.

Thompson High Student Arrested for Murdering Ex

A 15-year-old Georgia student has been murdered and her boyfriend has been charged with the crime.

In McDuffie County, the community is dealing with its third murder in two weeks. The body of 15-year-old Shakira Hudson was found behind her home Friday morning.

Melita Hudson, Shakira Hudson's aunt: "It's awful, It's awful. I never would have thought anything like this would have happened."

Friends and family were in tears, after news quickly spread at Thomson High School that the 15-year old student was killed.

Pedrinisha Few, Shakira Hudson's friend: "She was like, 'You heard about Kira?' I said, 'what happened to her?' She said she was dead. I said, 'please don't tell me that.'"

Shakira Hudson's body was found on near a shed at the back of her home at Washington Place Apartments, in Thomson.

Georgia Bureau of Investigation (GBI) agents tell us they were tipped off by the McDuffie County School System.

Hudson's Aunt says her neice's boyfriend, Terry Johnson, was that one that told teachers.

Melita Hudson: "He was in class, he went on up there and told them they needed to go check on her because she's hurting real bad."

Family members say they saw Johnson talking with Hudson Thursday night....

Melita Hudson: "When my son pulled up, they were talking outside. When he got ready to leave, they moved to the side of the apartment."

Now, investigators are working to piece exactly what happened.

Investigators arrested Shakira's boyfriend, Terry Johnson, on Friday evening. He has been charged with murder.

If you suspect your teen may be involved in an abusive relationship, please call the national teen dating violence helpline at 1-866-331-9474. Our thoughts and prayers are with the Hudson family.

Yeardley Love and Dating Violence

Recognize the name George Huguely? He is the former boyfriend charged with killing UVA lacrosse player Yeardley Love. We wouldn't be surprised if you recognize her name but not his. Reporting on domestic violence often concentrates on the victim, why she stayed, what she could have done to stay safe, and often erases the culpability of the perpetrator entirely. Even Newsweek, who ran a story on the case this week, felt the need to title their story "Turns Out, Yeardley Love Couldn't Have Gotten a Restraining Order If She Wanted To".

Despite that, the article has good information about dating violence. Dating violence is the common term for domestic violence (or family violence, or intimate partner violence) that is used when the couple is not married, has not lived together, or do not have children together. The title of the article draws attention to a major difference in the way that the law addresses domestic violence vs. dating violence. In many states, victims of dating violence cannot apply for a restraining order.

The tragedy has also brought new light to dating violence on college campuses, where as many as one in four female students experience sexual assault. But perhaps the most disturbing new revelation is the fact that, despite Huguely's violent past, Love couldn't have filed for a restraining order against him even if she wanted to. Virginia is one of eight states that excludes people in dating relationships—in other words, unmarried couples or partners—from getting protective restraining orders, and for the past three years, the state has failed an annual assessment of domestic-violence-protection laws. Presented by Break the Cycle, a national nonprofit that works to end domestic violence, the State Law Report Card assesses how easy, or difficult, it is for teens seeking legal protection from abuse.

In Georgia, Love could have applied for what our state calls at Stalking Protective Order. She would have been required to document repeated acts that caused her to fear for her own safety or the safety of a member of her immediate family, and that caused her emotional distress. It would have been up to the judge to determine if these things qualify:

[Huguely] had been Tasered by a female police officer in 2008, after threatening her in a drunken rage. He had to be separated from Love at a party, and allegedly attacked a sleeping teammate, leaving his face bruised, after hearing that the player had kissed Love. He'd been charged with underage alcohol possession, reckless driving, and in 2008, police were summoned by the 22-year-old's father after the two got into a heated argument aboard a fishing boat and Huguely tried to swim the quarter mile to shore.

It is pretty clear to everyone reading that summary that Huguely was a guy who had trouble with violence and anger. He had been arrested and he had had friends physically separate him from Love at a party, illustrating for him that his behavior had gone to far. However, he was never kicked out of school, or even off the lacrosse team, for his violent behavior. The University has been hammered over that very issue, but claim that they had no way of knowing of Huguely's violent past because police aren't required to notify universities of the arrest of their students. Until we get to a place where we are taking violence against women seriously, until we are notifying those who can hold perpetrators accountable when it happens, until we are holding violent abusers accountable in meaningful ways, tragedies like this will continue to happen. That's not happening now. What is happening now is that people are completely missing the point:

All we know about Love’s death is that she was likely killed by someone close to her. So why are UVA police responding to the murder by warning students against crimes committed by strangers?

The e-mail, from University of Virginia Police Chief Mike Gibson:

While Charlottesville remains a relatively safe environment, crimes do occur in our community. The best defense is to be prepared and to take responsibility for your own safety and for that of your friends and fellow students. A few key reminders:

Trust your instincts about a person or situation. If you feel uncomfortable, immediately report your concerns to police by calling 911.

If you are on the Grounds and need help, pick up one of the blue-light telephones. You will be immediately connected to University Police. Be aware of your surroundings. Do not let a cell phone conversation or listening
to music distract you when crossing the street or in any type of situation that calls for your full attention.

Avoid isolated areas and walking alone at night. Use SafeRide (434-242-1122), walk with friends, or take a late-night weekend bus.

Keep your doors and windows locked.

Never allow strangers to follow you into a locked building and gain entry by “tailgating” you once you swipe the card reader in a residence hall. Also, never prop open card-reader doors.

If you see any of the following, immediately call the police at 911: a prowler, someone peeping into a residence, an individual watching, photographing or filming an area, or any other suspicious behavior.

Work with your neighbors and fellow community members to ensure a safe
environment.

UVA police have instructed students how to avoid and/or respond to the following: An attack on the grounds of the university. Getting hit by a car. A late-night street attack. An attack by an unknown intruder. An attack through the window. An attack by a prowler. An attack by a peeping Tom. An attack by a suspicious filmmaker.

Police believe that Love was killed by a more likely suspect—a man she knew. In general, women, and particularly young women, are more likely to be killed by someone they know than by a stranger. So why hasn’t UVA included any information here about domestic violence?

UVA student Madeleine Conger, forwarded Gibson’s e-mail. “I find it appalling . . . that no mention is made of how to tell if you are in an abusive relationship, how to avoid escalating aggressive confrontation, resources for people in abusive situations, or tips for friends of those who are,” says Conger. “Not even the number of the amazing women’s center we have here.”

She adds: “I just don’t understand why we can’t speak honestly about violence. . . . Locking your doors isn’t going to keep your boyfriend from hitting you.”

Emory University Models Campus Prevention

Emory University provides a great example of how dating and domestic violence can be addressed on colleges campuses, both with students and within education so that students leave with a model for addressing violence in their careers. A WRC board member, Dr. Sheryl Heron, co-chairs Emory's Intimate Partner Violence Working Group.

The IPV working group partners with the Center for Women, the Sexual Assault Prevention Office, the Emory Counseling Center, Pastoral Counseling Service and the Emory Police Department, and its members draw from these organizations and more.

“Our goal is to create a collaborative group so that we can support one another on some of the efforts,” [Paula Gomes, co-chair of Emory’s IPV working group] said. She added that the work aims to support each other while responding to a number of existing concerns within Emory students staff and members of the faculty.

An Emory initiative to combat intimate partner violence started by the IPV working group includes offering a protocol for health care professionals to follow up with patients who are suspected to be victims of intimate partner violence cases.

“In [the VCP report], they found that victims went to hospital emergency rooms, and they went to their friends and colleagues and tried to get help, but it wasn’t good enough because they were murdered,” Heron said.

She added that the group wanted to revive a protocol that wold be more updated in the language and content of definitions, which includes what they look for and how to ask questions and make referrals.

Heron said that among other indicators of IPV, chronic abdominal pain, a history of an attempted suicide or chronic headaches points towards an individual’s possibility of having IPV.

“It’s beyond just fixing the medical problem, but asking why,” Heron said. She said that there is still a long way to go, and added that the medical protocol provides yet another tool that health care professionals can access.

This protocol includes requiring health care professionals to routinely check patients for domestic abuse in an effort to decrease the amount of repeat offenses of intimate partner violence.

“The medical protocol goes hand in hand with the fatality reports because the fatality report clearly states that victims have gone to health care professionals prior to their death,” Heron said.

Two years ago, the IPV working group conducted a report on intimate partner violence and presented the findings to University President James W. Wagner.

However, many of their recommendations, such as the creation of a website for victims have not materialized since the report came during the nation’s economic downturn.

“The recommendations included the creation of a website and other resources and a central place where people can respond to intimate partner violence,” Heron said.

She added that the financing issues have not deterred the group from distributing the report or from working with the Center for Women to create a website which would ensure confidentiality and safety for those in need of the services.

Heron said that according to a survey given to the University, many are unaware of a clear definition for intimate partner violence.

“We have to continue educating our campus and our university about what partner violence is about and what it includes,” Heron said.

Despite Georgia’s high ranking this year, Gomes stressed that there are many avenues throughout campus for Emory students, staff and faculty to reach out to when experiencing IPV.

“We do see [IPV] as an issue an Emory, and I know there is a growing issue among students of dating violence and stalking,” Gomes said. “There are resources available for everyone on campus.”

Info comes courtesy of the Emory Wheel.

UGA Suspends Player for Domestic Violence

The Georgia Bulldogs indefinitely suspended freshman defensive end Montez Robinson today after he was arrested Thursday on battery charges.

“I’m certainly disappointed in the situation with Montez (Robinson),” said head coach Mark Richt. “We have expectations and standards for our student-athletes and his actions are not in line with those. We are suspending him indefinitely from all team activities.”

Robinson faces battery and criminal damage charges for two separate events involving a female University of Georgia student.

Robinson, 19, was held in the Clarke County Jail this morning on charges of simple battery and second-degree criminal damage, a felony. He was released on $2,000 bond later in the afternoon.

Robinson is charged with battery for allegedly assaulting the female student on Oct. 20 and criminal damage for allegedly breaking taillights on her car early Monday morning.

This post could easily have been given the "double standards" tag that posts on domestic violence perpetrated by athletes often get. Instead, Bulldogs coach Mark Richt chose to take these arrests seriously and condemn domestic violence as outside the standards of character he expects from his team. Thanks, Coach Richt, for standing with our cause and setting that example for your peers, your team, and your fans.

Popular Songs Contain "Unhealthy Relationship Ingredients"

In Boston, an innovative new program is encouraging teens to examine the messages the get about relationships from the media, particularly popular music. From Access Atlanta:

The "Sound Relationships Nutrition Label" was developed by 14 teens after they attended a seven-week commission-sponsored institute on healthy relationship promotion and teen dating violence prevention. During the seven-week program, teens were also taught to evaluate music based on themes of power, control, equality and gender roles.

The teens then developed their list after analyzing songs from Billboard's "Hot 100" chart.

Mario's "Break Up" featuring Gucci Man and Sean Garrett and Jamie Foxx's "Blame It" featuring T-Pain topped the list for the most unhealthy relationship songs of 2009. Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance" and Pitbull's "Hotel Room Service" were also listed.

Among the teen panel's top 10 songs with healthy themes: "Miss Independent" by Ne-Yo and "Meet Me Halfway" by the Black Eyed Peas.

Shaquilla Terry, 15, of Boston, a teen panel member, said it was important for listeners to go beyond the songs' beats and listen to the lyrics.

The commission says its program aims to teach teens how to evaluate popular media, and help parents talk to teens about healthy relationships. Commission officials also said the label invites consumers to become song lyric nutritionists by helping them identify positive and negative messages about relationships in songs.

"We aren't telling people what they should or should not be listening to," Barbara Ferrer, the commission's executive director, said in a statement. "We are giving them a tool that will help them make an informed choice about what they put in their bodies."

In addition to the label, the commission also plans to released a lesson plan for teachers.

Jack Perricone, chair of the songwriting department at the Berklee College of Music, said pop songs generally allow listeners to get away from the bad news of the day. But he said pop music, by its very nature, is very repetitive, and sometimes if songs have negative messages, those repetitive messages can get inside teens' heads.

"Some (artists) play up the bad boy image and put out negative images as a way to be commercially successful," said Perricone, who was not affiliated with the commission. "But then they have to deal with the moral implications."

Leave your list of healthy and unhealthy relationship songs in comments.

Chicken or the Egg

Via Yahoo - A new study by the Parents Television Council has counted over 400 acts of violence against women and female teenagers on prime-time ABC, CBS, NBC and Fox shows from February until May of this year. When the group conducted the same study five years ago, they counted less than 200 acts of violence against women. The PTC clocked an increase of over 120 percent for beatings, murder, threats and rape of adult women, as well as an over 400 percent increase against teenage girls.

The media watchdog said it was particularly disturbed by the use of violence against women in comedies and said it hoped TV networks and advertisers would stand up against the trend.

"I hope the industry will look at our data and be as shocked as I was," PTC president Tim Winter told reporters.

The report suggested that violent acts against women and teen girls was increasing at rates that far exceed the two percent increase in overall violence that the study found existed on TV between 2004-2009.

The PTC compared prime-time programing on networks ABC, NBC, CBS and Fox in February and May 2004 and the same months in 2009. It said every network except ABC showed a dramatic increase in stories that included beatings, violent threats, shooting, rape, stabbing and torture.

The PTC findings reflect a sharp rise in the number of crime series on TV, such as the popular CBS franchise "CSI" which is one of America's most-watched drama series.

But the report singled out Fox, saying the network allowed violence against women to be trivialized through punch lines in its satirical animated comedies "Family Guy" and "American Dad." It cited one May 2009 episode of "Family Guy" in which a character gets divorced under a fictional 18th century procedure -- by shooting his wife dead.

Our question is, which came first? Is violence against women so tolerated that it makes its way into our entertainment, or does its saturating presence in our media desensitize us to violence in reality? Or is it simply an echo chamber, where each feeds the other and makes the problem more and more extreme?

Local Teen Killed

From the AJC:

The teen whose body was found in a Clarkston trash bin apparently was choked to death by her boyfriend, Clarkston Police Chief Tony Scipio said Friday.

Scipio said Shannon Cade, 17, has been charged with murdering Britney Wells, also 17, in his apartment on Smith Street. The Clarkston High student’s body was found in the bin outside Cade’s apartment early Thursday.

Police believe Wells went to Cade’s apartment voluntarily but then was held against her will, Scipio said.

Cade remained jailed without bond Friday. A 14-year-old, whose name was withheld because of his age, has been charged with concealing Wells’ death.

This tragedy hits us especially hard because Clarkston is right in our back yard. We have made ourselves available to Clarkston High School to speak with the students and faculty, and our thoughts and prayers go out to the Wells family for this horrible loss.

Life Imitates "Art"

Last month we talked about Abortion Man, a "superhero" brought to you by Damon Wayans' WayOutTV. Abortion Man's evidently hilarious superpower was to, at the behest of hesitant fathers, beat up pregnant women until they miscarried. Violence against women is not funny, especially because of tragedies like this.

A judge sentenced two teens to life in prison for a beating that injured a pregnant woman and killed her unborn child.

Alfonso Price, 16, and Jebrell Wright, 17, will be eligible for parole in 23 years for their convictions on murder, felonious assault and kidnapping charges in the July 2007 attack. Authorities said the pair attacked 18-year-old Kerria Anderson, who told Price she was pregnant at the time with his unborn child.

The teens stomped Anderson in the hallway of an Over-The-Rhine apartment building after she refused to get an abortion, investigators said, and the fetus suffered fatal injuries.

Alfonso Price was a child himself when this incident occurred. Teenagers shouldn't have to be parents, and he may have been feeling scared or desperate, but that does not excuse his actions, nor explain why he felt that it was acceptible to use violence against a woman rather than respect her decisions, even if they did affect him deeply.

"Humor" like Abortion Man is one of the reasons we live in a society where violence of this type can happen. We make light of violence against women everyday, but this time two teenagers' lives are ruined, and one will probably never be the same again.

Murdered Teen Unaided by Police

On February 15, 17-year old Natasha Hall was murdered by her 19-year old ex-boyfriend Clay Kufner. In the months leading up to the shooting, Hall had called the police to report Kufner's abuse and harassment numerous times.

According to DeLand police department records, officers were called out to the Hall home at least nine times since July 2007. Each incident involved Kufner.

Records show that Kufner was charged with battery twice, cases that were pending in court. The Hall family also accused Kufner of stalking, threatening to burn down their house, and making harassing phone calls.

Despite Kufner's threats and acts of violence, the family elected not to pursue a restraining order because they felt that he was getting his life together, and they did not want to put an unnecessary blemish on his record. This is an interesting distinction between dating violence and stalking or harrassment by a stranger. If Kufner hadn't been known to the family, it is highly unlikely that Hall or her family would have cared what legal action might do to his life.

However, given the actions of the DeLand Police Department before and after this tragic murder, it is not surprising that the family was convinced that taking legal action would not help their daughter.

January 15th was the last time Hall contacted the DeLand Police Department. The harassment continued after that date, but according to her mother, Natasha was told by police that if she didn't stop calling them she would be arrested.

"The police officer said if you call us one more time on him, I'm going to arrest you both," [Natasha's mother] said. "So, the day she died, she knew she couldn't talk to police. So, she handled it herself.

Phone records have not yet been released to confirm or deny this report, but the statement issued by Chief Deputy Randel Henderson of the DeLand Police Department certainly suggests a tendency to dismiss the severity of dating violence. Henderson told reporters, "Basically we have a very young couple who are experiencing, at least up until last Friday evening, just very normal relationship problems."

The "normal relationship problems" the Chief Deputy is referring to, according to DeLand Police Department records, include Kufner posting nude photos of Hall on the internet, hitting her in the face, and threatening to burn down her home.

The bottom line is that a child is dead because she was expected to assume responsibility for a violent and dangerous person's behavior solely because she made the mistake of dating him.

For more information on teen dating violence, visit Break the Cycle .

Georgia "Fails" To Protect Teens From Dating Violence

Break the Cycle, an organization dedicated to educating teens about domestic and dating violence recently issued a report card which graded the level of legal protection each state offers teen victims of domestic and dating violence.

The report cards are designed to draw attention to the discrepancies between the protections afforded to adult victims of violence as compared to teen victims. States were graded on an A through F scale.Those states that do not allow minors to obtain restraining orders were given an automatic failure.

Georgia, along with fifteen other states, received an "F" because it does not allow people under the age of 18 to obtain a protective order without a guardian's permission. Only three states, (California, New Hampshire, and Oklahoma) received an "A". Break the Cycle has included suggestions in each state's report card on how to improve their grade.

Teen Dating Violence Week

February 4 – 8 is National Teen Dating Violence Week, and it seems very much on theme. In January we brought you a variety of posts on violence among teens, so today we'd like to offer some resources, in addition to our Center, for teens in dating relationships and parents talking to their teens about dating.

First is the National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline, a toll-free hotline (1-866-331-9474) with an accompanying website. It includes a “Teen Dating Bill of Rights” and videos submitted by teens, plus lots of information. They also have "live chat" available several hours a day.

For younger teens, there is GirlsAllowed, designed to help girls engage in developing the building blocks of healthy relationships.

From the CDC there is Choose Respect, which is geared toward ages 11 – 14.

Finally, visit The Safe Space created by Break the Cycle and sponsored by Verizon Wireless and The Avon Foundation.

Information for this post was borrowed from "Domestic Violence and the Workplace", a blog effort by the Corporate Alliance to End Partner Violence.

Forced Pregnancy as Abuse

Sometimes the articles we post won't need any commentary from us. This is one of those times:

Teen girls report abusive boyfriends try to get them pregnant.

Comments?