He "Just" Killed His Girlfriend

The following is an op-ed written by Meg Rogers, the Executive Director of the Cherokee Family Violence Center, to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution in response to this article.

Thomas West, the defense lawyer for Frederick Lee Gude – a man accused of killing his girlfriend in 2004 – offered a disturbing but sadly all too familiar view of domestic violence in the article, “Half-decade wait in some capital cases.” He comments, “We contend it was cruel and unusual to seek the death penalty in a case where you are just accused of killing your girlfriend and not something more heinous” [our emphasis]. Setting aside the question of whether it is ever justified to seek the death penalty, the second half of Mr. West's quote is what caught my attention, for it speaks volumes about a very common way in which our society minimizes violence when it is committed against an intimate partner. Apparently, in the minds of some, "just... killing your girlfriend" (by allegedly stabbing her with an ice pick over 30 times) does not constitute a heinous crime. Over 100 people are killed due to domestic violence each year in Georgia . Nationwide, more women are killed by an intimate partner than by all other persons. Domestic violence is an epidemic in our communities. Dismissing the most violent form, homicide, as an inconsequential crime is a dangerous and hateful disservice to all who survive and to all who have lost their lives due to it.

Rape and domestic violence are the only crimes in our society in which the victim is blamed for the perpetrator’s actions. Why is it that these crimes, largely perpetrated by men towards women, are ignored or explained away? Why must these women bear the brunt of their perpetrator’s violence? In modern times, most would scoff at the archaic idea that a man owns his wife (or girlfriend). However, comments such as that by Thomas West remind us that many still hold a misogynistic attitude that justifies violence by men in an intimate relationship. In such a violent world, the home and an intimate relationship should be a safe harbor. How then, do we come to accept or minimize the problem of domestic violence? The fact is that already this year -- just since January 1, 2009 -- 23 people in Georgia have already died due to domestic violence.

Studies show that one out of every three women will experience domestic violence at some point in their lives. Comments like those of West further isolate victims of domestic violence from helpful resources and undermine the gravity of abuse and horror that they experience. As a community, we must stand up to domestic violence. We can end domestic violence, but only when communities choose to come together to state that this type of violence is unacceptable and will not be tolerated. This work requires us to challenge the belief systems that allow us to shrug off "just killing a girlfriend," to stop blaming victims for the abuse, to stop minimizing the life-changing terror and trauma that is being inflicted, to hold batterers accountable for their violence, and to be agents of change rather than silent witnesses to the crime of domestic terrorism. There is help out there for anyone experiencing abuse or for their friends and family who want to help. Call the 24-hour, statewide hotline 1-800-33-HAVEN (800-334-3826) voice/TTY for information and resources.

How We Make It The Victim's Fault

Kathy, a guest blogger at Shakesville, points out a disturbing trend in the reporting on a Washington state man who murdered his five children and then himself.

It's a horrific story, and of course the press are all over it, trying to figure out why it happened. And what have they found? You guessed it -- there's a woman to blame. Or at least that's what you'd think if you read the headlines:

• Yahoo News - "Police: Dad Killed 5 Kids Because Wife Was Leaving"


• Kansas City Star - "Man Who Apparently Killed His 5 Children 'Devestated' [sic] over Wife Leaving"


• AFP - "Spurned by Wife, Man Kills His Five Children, Self" (note they're his children rather than their children)


• CNN - "Husband Saw Wife with Another Man before Killing Kids"


• My local paper (no link available)- "Police: Kids Killed Because Mom Left"

Yep -- mom did it.

According to the AP story:

The night before, the father and his eldest daughter went in search of the wife, Angela Harrison. The daughter used a GPS feature in her mother's cell phone to find her with another man at a convenience store in Auburn, said Ed Troyer, a spokesman for the Pierce County Sheriff. The woman told her husband she was not coming home, and was leaving him for the man with her at the store. The father and the daughter left, distraught, Troyer said. Sometime after the children went to sleep, he shot them each multiple times. Four died in their beds. The fifth was found in the mobile home's bathroom, surrounded by signs of violent struggle."He wanted the kids dead," Troyer said. "It wasn't like he shot a few rounds. He shot several rounds. "Investigators believe he then returned to the area near the convenience store looking for his wife. His body was found near the store, Troyer said."A working theory is that he probably went back up there looking for her, wasn't able to find her, realized the gravity of what he'd done and shot himself," Troyer said.

Regardless of whether she was leaving him, whether she "spurned" him, or whether he was distraught because their relationship was ending, he made the choice to end the lives of five innocent children as a final act of control. It also seems that he intended to end his wife's life as well. This was not a one-off incident. This man had a history of abuse and previously had an open case with the state's child welfare office. He even used his daughter to help him stalk his wife.

We need to put the blame where it belongs, on a man who was willing to view his wife and children as his belongings and say, "If I can't have them, no one can."

Georgia Fatality Review is Released

Taken from a press release by the Georgia Commission on Family Violence and the Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence:

(Atlanta) In just two years, Georgia has improved from 7th to 14th in the nation for the rate at which men kill women in single-victim homicides, but experts say there is much more work to be done, especially in the area of educating family and friends about how to effectively support abuse victims and intervene with abusers. Today, two statewide domestic violence agencies released a report analyzing homicides and near-deadly assaults of Georgia women. The Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the Georgia Commission on Family Violence have jointly published their 5th annual Domestic Violence Fatality Review Report, a document that provides analysis of cases in which Georgians have lost their lives due to domestic violence. The report also provides recommendations and strategies that communities in Georgia can utilize to end domestic violence in their area.

After reviewing 89 of Georgia’s domestic violence fatalities, the two groups found that many people experiencing domestic violence tend to seek help primarily from their friends, family members, neighbors, coworkers, employers, and faith communities. Members of these groups often try to help, but lack the tools to do so effectively. The report offers basic messages that anyone can convey to people who are being abused or abusers so that they are better prepared to respond when a friend or loved one is in a violent relationship. In addition, in all the cases reviewed, less than one-fifth of homicide victims had had contact with a domestic violence agency or safehouse in the five years leading up to the homicide – suggesting that many of those in great danger often are unaware of or not accessing available resources. “Clearly, it is imperative to find ways to connect more people with the domestic violence hotline,”said Beck Dunn, Executive Director of GCADV. The statewide, toll-free hotline number is 1-800-33-HAVEN (42836) voice/TTY.

Referencing the Violence Policy Center’s 2008 study, in which Georgia moved in just two years from 7th to 14th in the nation for the rate at which men kill women in single-victim homicides (most of which are domestic violence deaths), Kirsten Rambo, Executive Director of GCFV, noted, “We are making some good progress in Georgia, but we still have a long way to go. Domestic violence deaths can be prevented only when communities take a stand against domestic violence and work together to stop it.”

In 2008, at least 111 Georgians lost their lives to domestic violence. There were at least 118 deaths due to domestic violence in Georgia in 2007. The Domestic Violence Fatality Report can be used as a tool in every community to end violence in the home.

To access the report for free online, or for information about the Georgia Coalition Against Domestic Violence and the Georgia Commission on Family Violence, please go to http://www.gcadv.org/ or http://www.gcfv.org/. The report is also available at http://www.fatalityreview.com/.

Afghan President Legalizes Rape

Critics claim that Afghanistan's President, Hamid Karzai, helped rush a bill through parliament which legalizes rape in a bid to appease Islamic fundamentalists ahead of elections in August.

In a massive blow for women's rights, the new Shia Family Law negates the need for sexual consent between married couples, tacitly approves child marriage and restricts a woman's right to leave the home, according to UN papers seen by The Independent.

The bill lay dormant for more than a year, but in February it was rushed through parliament as President Karzai sought allies in a constitutional row over the upcoming election.

The most controversial parts of the law deal explicitly with sexual relations. Article 132 requires women to obey their husband's sexual demands and stipulates that a man can expect to have sex with his wife at least "once every four nights" when travelling, unless they are ill. The law also gives men preferential inheritance rights, easier access to divorce, and priority in court.

A report by the United Nations Development Fund for Women, Unifem, warned: "Article 132 legalises the rape of a wife by her husband".

The final document has not been published, but the law is believed to also contain articles that rule women cannot leave the house without their husbands' permission and that they can only seek work, education or visit the doctor with their husbands' permission.

A briefing document prepared by the United Nations Development Fund for Women also warns that the law grants custody of children to fathers and grandfathers only.

Update: About 300 Afghan women, facing an angry throng three times larger than their own, walked the streets of the capital on Wednesday to demand that Parliament repeal the law. Counter protests hurled stones and yelled insults and threats while female Afghan police officers joined hands to form a human chain around the women to try to protect them.

Letter from a Black Male Feminist

In place of a post from us this week, please click through to this open letter to Chris Brown from the blog Diary of a Black Male Feminist.