The Big Picture: Bullying Linked to DV

Monday, April 25, 2011

Bullying Linked to DV

The Centers for Disease Control recently released a study that found a link between bullying and witnessing or experiencing violence at home.

Exposure to violent family encounters was more common among bully-victims [those who both bully and are bullied] than among bullies, and more common among bullies than victims of bullying. Among middle school students, 23.2% of bully-victims reported being physically hurt by a family member and 22.8% reported witnessing violence, compared with 19.4% and 17.4%, respectively, among bullies and 13.6% and 14.8%, respectively, among victims of bullying. Among high school students, comparisons by category were similar.

It makes sense. Children learn how to move through the world by what they witness in the home. If they witness a parent using bullying behaviors against another parent, they will likely mimic those behaviors. It is up to us to teach the children in our care (our own children, those in our classroom, those in our scout troop, etc.) that violence is not acceptable and to model respectful behavior. Otherwise, we will continue to pass abusive behaviors from generation to generation.

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Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through physical, sexual, emotional, and/or financial abuse. Both men and women are capable of misusing power and perpetrating violence, and male victims are often just as afraid to call the police. More resources for female survivors exist, however, because overwhelmingly women and children suffer the most severe consequences (medical, legal, social, and financial) and therefore require the most intensive interventions.

Many women choose to stay in abusive relationships because they do not want their relationship to end...just the violence. Women often remain in, or return to, abusive relationships because their partners threaten to harm them and their loved ones if they attempt to leave. Commonly, women choose to leave when they become convinced that their life is at risk, or that their children are in danger.

Domestic violence is not just a "family matter". The violence will not stop until men and women come together with a common attitude of non-tolerance. We must speak out for those who may not feel safe speaking up, and our children must learn through our words and example that violence is never justified.