The Big Picture: Cosmo's 10 Tips for Preventing Sexual Assault

Friday, August 19, 2011

Cosmo's 10 Tips for Preventing Sexual Assault

Cosmo, the women's magazine, has a handy list of 10 tips to help women not get raped. The problem with these lists is the assumption that a woman can do anything at all to prevent herself from being raped, the flip side of which is that a woman who doesn't do these things is at least a little bit at fault when she is raped. Wrong!

Melissa at Shakesville has a much better list of tips for sexual assault prevention, in handy visual form:

See the difference? The focus here is on a group of people who actually can prevent rape: rapists. Since raping someone is a choice, only rapists can make the choice to not rape. If a rapists rapes, only he is to blame.

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Domestic Violence

Domestic violence is the establishment of control and fear in a relationship through physical, sexual, emotional, and/or financial abuse. Both men and women are capable of misusing power and perpetrating violence, and male victims are often just as afraid to call the police. More resources for female survivors exist, however, because overwhelmingly women and children suffer the most severe consequences (medical, legal, social, and financial) and therefore require the most intensive interventions.

Many women choose to stay in abusive relationships because they do not want their relationship to end...just the violence. Women often remain in, or return to, abusive relationships because their partners threaten to harm them and their loved ones if they attempt to leave. Commonly, women choose to leave when they become convinced that their life is at risk, or that their children are in danger.

Domestic violence is not just a "family matter". The violence will not stop until men and women come together with a common attitude of non-tolerance. We must speak out for those who may not feel safe speaking up, and our children must learn through our words and example that violence is never justified.