Who Pays?

In a what we intended to be a more lighthearted post, we wanted to take a look at this article from the New York Times that discusses the difficulties that high-earning professional women face when dating. What does it say about our society that men can be so threatened by their female partner's earning power that it is the sole reason for ending a relationship?

The lightheartedness ends, however, when we remember the many women who come to us with no financial resources to begin a new life of safety, because her husband or partner insisted on being the sole breadwinner. We can't help but think that the mindsets are connected, and that it is no surprise that some men can't relinquish that feeling of power that he has in a relationship where he is the "provider."

Financial abuse is not new, but abusers are learning to use more creative means in asserting their control. For instance, we are seeing a new population of women who are victims of identity theft by their partners, and are now dealing with the long-term credit consequences of that abuse.

We challenge you to examine the ways that money is handled in your household. Does one party make all the decisions regarding how it is spent? Does your partner try to prevent you from working outside the home if you want? If so, it may be time to look honestly at other aspects of your relationship too. If what you discover raises some questions, you can call our 24-hour hotline at 404-688-9436 to speak to an advocate.